How to Plan an Elopement with Friends and Family | Lakeside Wisconsin Small and Intimate Wedding
If you’ve ever wondered How to Plan an Elopement with Friends and Family Attending, this is the perfect resource for you. Not only will I share some tips and tricks, but I’ll let one of my couples, Jacob & Sarah, share about their Lakeside Small Wedding in Manitowish Waters, WI to help you begin to envision your own nuptials. From their first look at the North Lakeland Discovery Center to their ceremony and reception at Rest Lake Park, you’ll get to witness firsthand the joys of getting married with a small guest list!
When I eloped in 2020, the idea of it just being me and my husband didn’t feel right. For us, making sure to include our parents, siblings, and best friends would be the best way to celebrate our relationship. We rented two AirBnBs and enjoyed the weekend with those we loved. As we said our vows on top of a mountain in North Carolina, I still remember looking around at those present and thinking how wonderful it felt to feel surrounded by love. While including family and friends might not be for everyone, it was 100% us to include them in our wedding weekend.
Jacob and Sarah felt the same as they decided to have a Lakeside Small Wedding in Manitowish Waters, WI. Getting married with loved ones surrounding them felt perfect but also keeping it small was important. This guest list ended up rounding out at around 30 people which was the perfect size to feel like a party but also feel intimate. While I could tell you about their day, I think hearing about their wedding straight from them is the best way to share the incredible day they experienced.
Why was having an intimate wedding important for you?
Jacob: As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that having a few close friends is more meaningful than calling absolutely everyone your friend. For our wedding day, I really wanted to be able to look back years down the road and see people in our wedding pictures that we’re still close with.
Sarah: Having an intimate wedding was important to me because I wanted to be able to spend intentional time with each of the people that we chose to invite. This just isn’t possible at a larger wedding where the couple makes their quick rounds to the tables during the reception. Instead as I look back, there are individual and meaningful memories with each of our guests from the actual wedding day and the days leading up to it.
What is one of your favorite memories from your wedding day?
Jacob: One memory that jumps out is the moment I finally saw Sarah’s dress! It had been hanging in her apartment for months, and I had absolutely no clue what to expect. Needless to say, I loved it! Another memory is the moment I first showed up to the wedding venue after it had been decorated. The wind was blowing (I had just missed the fiasco of everything blowing over just minutes prior) and everyone and everything looked so beautiful and peaceful. It was amazing to see the results of our hours of planning come together so beautifully!
Sarah: One of my favorite memories would have to be sitting at the reception and watching everyone play the games that we had created (our own version of family feud and the shoe game). It was good to see all those people we care about having fun together!
I think my other favorite memory would be reading our vows privately to each other at the lakeside. We didn’t have any pressure from anyone watching, and it could just be an “us” moment.
How did you two stay organized as you planned your wedding that wasn’t in your hometown?
Jacob: We had a massive Google Sheets document that we added tabs to and updated on a daily basis. It was where we kept track of our budget, things we’d bought, things we needed to buy, a running timeline of the wedding day and of the wedding week, and a minute-by-minute breakdown of the wedding ceremony…you know, the typical stuff you’d expect from two Type A individuals!
Sarah: As Jacob mentioned, having a very large spreadsheet with lots of pages and categories such as food, decorations, guests, clothes, reception, etc. was helpful. Additionally, I had family in Wisconsin, and they could check out some things while we were still hundreds of miles away.
Looking back, is there anything you would have changed about your day?
Jacob: The ultimate answer is no but if we had chosen a larger venue that seated more than 30 guests, inviting a few more close friends and family to celebrate with us would have been nice.
Sarah: Not much! I didn’t expect to love our wedding day as much as I did (which may sound bad, I know), but Jacob and I both have very reasonable expectations for things like this and it blew all of our expectations away. It was pretty perfect for us!
What is your top suggestion/s for a couple that just got engaged?
Jacob: Do a first look before the ceremony! It calms nerves, sets the tone for the rest of the day, and, as Sarah mentioned, is a special memory that you get with your significant other. Beyond that, I’d say don’t hesitate to book a photographer whose style you like, and work with them to figure out what you do and don’t want to happen on the day of your wedding! Lastly, I’d say have a set-in-stone list of group pictures you want taken with your wedding guests. This list is crucial, because you may think you need a picture with every single person present, but really, you just need a few key family photos and a couple of big group photos! Save yourself hassle by planning this out early so that you can relax and enjoy every moment of your special day!
Sarah: My suggestion for a couple that is recently engaged would be to decide on a few things that you know you want but to be flexible with the rest. If you know you want less than 50 people, stick to it. Even if you are pressured by family, friends, etc. If you know you need to have a dance floor, do it! But otherwise, let your plans for the day unfold and be reworked as you go along. This advice is more specifically for the early planning stages.
I would also suggest doing as much of the planning as you can with your partner so that you are both able to enjoy the little details on that day!
Now that you’ve heard about Jacob & Sarah’s wedding, let’s dive in with discussing How to Plan an Elopement with Friends and Family Attending. I’ll share some tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years to provide the best experience, for you and your guests!
Envision your plan with your partner before talking with friends and family. Whether it’s the amount of people you want to invite or the location you want to elope to, knowing your priorities and vision before including family is so important. Set aside time for a date night to dream together about what your wedding day will look like (when you will and when you won’t be including other people) and once the major decisions have been made together, go ahead and let your family and friends know your plans. While they may have some great ideas to add, don’t feel the need to cater to their personal desires as you two are the ones who are being celebrated that day!
Recognize guest limits based on location and activities. Some parks and elopement destinations are strict on the amount of guests present in an effort to protect the land. 10 versus 40 guests makes a huge difference in the places you’ll be able to elope. Planning portions of the day where it will just be the two of you (and your photographer) to explore areas off the beaten track or that have guest limits can be a great compromise if you’re desiring more than 20 people attend your ceremony and/or reception. Share this information with your photographer and/or planner ahead of time so as they suggest locations, they can help you find the perfect spots.
Consider small/intimate venues. While you may be wanting to elope to get out in nature, there’s plenty of venues that cater to elopements and small weddings. Having a place to eat a meal to end the day with everyone that is indoors (in case of rain) can help avoid stress over weather situations. While family and friends will be okay to stand out in the rain for a ceremony, a dry spot will bring a cozy end to the day.
Prepare your guests ahead of time. This is especially important if you’re eloping on public lands (national parks, national seashores, state parks, etc.) but preparing guests for what to expect, wear, and bring is important. Including a timeline for them, as well, can be helpful if they’re meeting you part way through the day for your ceremony. Also letting them know ahead of time where exactly they will sit or stand is just as important as in large weddings to help the day go smoothly. I personally love having family spread out in a “V” shaped line with the couple at the top so that as you stand there, you can look just over your partner’s shoulders and see your loved ones. It also allows for photos to show both you and your guests reactions together.
Clothing matters. Since your guest count is still less than a traditional wedding, they will be showing up in lots of photos and to help create a sophisticated look, I always suggest giving guests guidelines for what to wear. It can be as simple as “wear business casual neutrals” or “wear the wedding colors: plush, navy, and cream.” Families often follow a basic dress code for larger weddings as well so extending this to anyone at your elopement will go a long way in creating stunning photos that capture your elopement vision.
Consider staying together. Depending on the size of your guest list, renting an AirBnB to enjoy an entire weekend together is perfect! This also prevents guests from booking at a hotel 2 hours away because “the rate was good.” If you plan to invite anyone not staying at the house over for a meal, check with the host first. While some hosts are more than happy to allow their house to be used for a mini-reception, others stipulate no parties so knowing what is and is not allowed before booking is key.
Because planning an elopement is a little different than planning an elopement with just the two of you, here is a step-by-step guide to How to Plan an Elopement with Friends and Family Attending!
7 Steps to Plan an Elopement with Friends and Family Attending
1. Dream up some amazing ideas
It’s time to dream big and come up with the most unique elopement ideas you can think of. Think about who you two are as people and consider the kind of activities you love to share. What would the best day ever look like for you? Keeping all this in mind, ask yourself how you see your quests (family and/or friends) being a part of that day?
2. Book a photographer
As the excitement for what your elopement or small wedding day will have in store, it’s time to make a new best friend: your elopement photographer! Not every elopement photographer is the same so finding someone who understands the logistics of eloping with friends and family will be a wonderful resource. Discuss your elopement vision with them over the phone and listen to how they provide support for their couples to help them create the best day ever. Hiring a photographer that does more than take pretty pictures will ensure your day is about the experience you want to have with your loved ones.
3. Decide on a specific guest count and location
Deciding on a guest count before choosing your location will help your photographer and/or planner suggest the best spots for your day. Remember that you can adventure with your partner for part of the day without your guests or even plan a 2-day elopement to allow you to hit up those dreamed about locations.
4. Book lodging and other vendors
While you can have guests book their own stay, I recommend you research and at least give choices instead of leaving it open ended. While you're at it, research vendors or ask your photographer for suggestions as they may have a preferred vendors list that has been vetted.
5. Finalize your plans for the day
Within 3 months of eloping, deciding on the specifics of what your day will look like is important, especially as you communicate with guests about what to expect. Because elopements are non-traditional, there’s no right or wrong way to plan your day. In case you’re needing extra help, here’s an article all about planning an epic elopement day!
6. Get your marriage license
Whether you got it earlier on a scouting trip or are visiting the county courthouse the week before your wedding, get that paperwork taken care of so the real adventure can begin. Be sure to plan ahead so no last minute courthouse closures affect your plans.
7. Adventure on your elopement day!
The day has arrived! It’s time to celebrate not only with your partner but also with your friends and family! This will be a day of laughter, adventure, and memory making activities. Oh yes, there might be some plans that are changed at the last minute, but your day will come together in an adventurous, one-of-a-kind way! I can’t wait for you two to drive away and replaying those special moments over and over again in your head (and thanks to pictures, you can!)
